


Being Mute

by cheshireslovely



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Definitely Fluffy, Fluff, Fluffier than a cloud of happiness and cotton candy, Liam knows sign language, M/M, Mute - Freeform, Mute AU, and so does Niall, mute!niall, yay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-29
Updated: 2013-07-29
Packaged: 2017-12-21 19:42:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/904121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheshireslovely/pseuds/cheshireslovely
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thing about being mute is that it’s not just the inability to talk.  Niall wishes it was that simple, that he just couldn’t talk.  It’s so much more than that though.  It’s anxiety and depression, mood swings even.  Niall feels like he has so many problems sometimes that it’s odd he can even smile.</p>
<p> Or the one where Niall’s mute and Liam knows sign language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Being Mute

The thing about being mute is that it’s not just the inability to talk. Niall wishes it was that simple, that he just couldn’t talk. It’s so much more than that though. It’s anxiety and depression, mood swings even. Niall feels like he has so many problems sometimes that it’s odd he can even smile.

Niall had gone to school normally always. He was top of his class, not that he really had a choice. What else was he meant to do? Nobody talked to him, nobody even looked at him! He didn’t have friends wanting to come over to his house or even ones who wanted to sit with him at lunch. Not that Niall really blames everyone, it’s not like he actively tries to make friends. A few people have tried, they’ve spoken to him and tried to get a reaction of some kind. Niall just can’t though, he can’t handle people. They all expect so much out of him and that’s so terrifying that Niall can’t help but avoid eye contact and desperately hope they’ll go away eventually. That tends to lead a boring, lonely life though. It does for Niall anyway.

Niall was used to that, that’s what he was expecting when his father was moved to Wolverhampton and the whole family was uprooted and shipped off with him. Niall was almost done with high school, then he could take classes online for university and get one with his life… Hopefully. His mum seemed to have other plans though.

“Keep your head up dear, okay? Just try to smile at people, those braces gave you a gorgeous smile and you know it,” Maura rambled on as she drove Niall down to the school. He would usually drive himself, but his mum insisted and it’s not like he could really fight back very effectively. “Lots of people will try to talk to you here, I can just feel it,” she said with a long sigh, smile brighter than the just rising sun. Niall rolled his eyes and shook his head softly, sighing as he looked out the window. This day would suck no matter what his mum said.

 

***

 

Well, everything sucked, just as Niall had expected. Word was already out that Niall was mute and everyone avoided him like the plague. Except in the hallways, which was the one place he would have been fine had everyone parted for him like he did have some contagious disease.

Niall walked around the school silently, eyes down and arms wrapped tightly around himself, like he was trying not to fall apart. Which was basically what he was doing. Everything was too loud, everyone was too loud. Nobody paid attention to him though, they were just loud around him. Bustling and hurrying, none of them seemed to care that things like this were terrifying to Niall. Having people surrounding him, acting like he was invisible as they laughed with friends, talking like it was the easiest thing to do in the world. Niall knew if he fell, nobody would notice and he couldn’t even ask for help.

With that in mind, Niall nearly started crying right there and then when his toe hit someone else’s and he stumbled slightly. Strong, warm arms caught him though and he immediately moved away from them, eyes wide and distrusting as he looked up just to see who had run into him. He saw warm brown eyes and plump lips for a moment before he looked back away.

"Hey, you okay, mate?" the bloke asked and Niall didn’t respond, shoulders hunched as he desperately tried to move around the stranger. He couldn’t though, too many people were there and he was trapped. “You aren’t hurt, right? I’m sorry I tripped you," the guy went on and Niall let out a near silent, frustrated huff. Now was one of those times he desperately wished he could talk.

‘I’m fine,’ he quickly signed instead before locking his arm and hand back in place. He looked up for a moment to see the stranger smiling, signing back to him. Niall’s eyes went wide and his head tilted to the side slightly.

"I’m taking sign language," he explained. “I’m Liam, by the way." Niall’s cheeks flushed when he saw a large hand being held out to him and he nodded softly, looking back down to his feet and pushing past Liam. And that was that. Or so Niall had thought.

 

***

 

“Did you make any new friends at school today?” Maura asked excitedly in the car and Niall sighed a little, ignoring the question in favour of staring out the window and pretending he was in a music video and waited to get through the car line and out of this place of hell. There were familiar eyebrows coming towards them and Liam was knocking softly against the glass of Niall’s window.

Ignoring his mother’s excited squeal, Niall rolled the window down slowly, eyes wide and confused. ‘What?’ he signed quickly. Who was this kid? Hadn’t their little encounter earlier been enough for him to figure out that Niall wasn’t really looking for a friend.

“Do you like it when I talk or sign more?” Liam asked, sounding a little out of breath and Niall actually let out a little noise of disbelief. He nearly let a smile slip out, but he held it back. This kind of thing had happened before, but it ended as soon as they realized that being mute was more than just the inability to speak.

‘I’m not deaf, just talk to me, shit,” Niall signed back with a roll of his eyes and a little snicker when his mum flicked his back with a quiet, “Language.”

“Alright, I just wanted to know! I’ll see you tomorrow, right? I’ll sit with you at lunch,” Liam said with a laugh. Niall blinked once more, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

‘Why? Your friends probably won’t want to be around,’ he signed and Liam shrugged.

“I don’t really care, you should have a friend.” Then, Liam was waving to them and walking away, making Niall roll his eyes once more and roll his window back up.

“He seems like a sweet boy! He could really stick around Niall,” Maura said and Niall sighed.

‘I give it two weeks tops.’

 

***

 

The thing is, it didn’t end after two weeks. Granted, Niall hadn’t had a break down during those two weeks. Liam stuck around though and it was kind of infuriating. Niall was never warm or welcoming, for the first ten minutes he wouldn’t even lift his head. His heart would pound erratically, but Liam was patient and kind and slowly, Niall would warm back up to him. Eventually, Niall was even smiling around Liam who was so adorably oblivious sometimes it made Niall think he was getting a cavity from how sweet it was to see. Liam was literally like a puppy and it was so fucking endearing god.

It all had to end sooner or later though and it seemed sooner once Liam actually found Niall in the bathroom mid panic attack.

It had just been a really bad day for him. He had barely slept the night before, tossing and turning and whimpering in his bed as nightmares clouded his mind and flashed behind his eyelids. When he woke up, he started crying right off the bat and Maura just held him. He had skipped the first half of the day to calm himself down, but it all went to shit as soon as he got there. There were just too many people and they had a group project and everyone ignored Niall except for this one kid who would just not leave him alone. He kept trying to poke Niall and that wasn’t okay, nobody was allowed to touch Niall without his permission, especially not on days like that one. The guy kept asking what was wrong and it wasn’t even in a harsh or rude way, he was just honestly curious and concerned even and goddammit. Niall didn’t hate being mute, he hated everything else.

So he ran. He ran into the bathroom and sat down in the corner and he was breathing quickly but not getting any air. His palms were pressed against his ears to desperately drown out the noise of passing period and his fingers were tangled in his hair. Hot tears streaked down his face and Niall could tell he was being stared at by anyone who had to wee, but he didn’t care anymore. He was rocking back and forth, just trying to feel okay again. To feel like his world wasn’t trapped in some horribly tiny box and like his ribcage was ten times too small.

“Niall?” No. No no no, Liam could not be there right then, that wasn’t allowed. He wasn’t allowed to just walk in and see Niall panicking over fucking nothing. “Niall, what happened?” 

‘Go away, Liam, leave me alone.’ Niall wished he could have signed it, but the request stayed a simple thought. Niall felt someone touching him them and he started screaming. He didn’t know what else to do, his eyes were clamped firmly shut as he tried to escape the world. He was being moved and he didn’t even know what was happening. Someone was taking his phone, what was he meant to do?! He couldn’t tell anyone he was being kidnapped and stolen from, all he could do was scream.

“Maura?! Niall’s freaking out, I don’t know what to do, I can’t help him, please you have to come get him, he’s screaming and shaking and I don’t know what to do.” Niall could hear Liam through it all and while he knew that it had been Liam all along, he couldn’t stop screaming. He only did when his throat was going raw and he literally couldn’t scream anymore. Liam was still talking to Niall’s mum and it sounded like he might actually be crying… 

Niall still couldn’t get enough air inside of him when his mum got there and began to speak quietly to him, cooing. “Come on love, let’s get you home so you can sleep,” she whispered and Niall could feel fingertips on him, making him flinch back and utter a tiny scream. He heard a sigh and then he was being lead elsewhere, thrashing about and trying to get away silently. As soon as he felt the seat beneath him and the familiar vanilla scent that always filled his life, he was asleep.

***

When Niall woke up hours later, he hoped it had all been a nightmare, a crazy nightmare and now it was time to get up and face the day. He sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes, yawning softly. When he opened his eyes once again, they landed on a peacefully sleeping Liam curled up on the small sofa in Niall’s room. Niall’s eyes went went and his heart warmed at the sight. Liam had stayed. Standing, Niall grabbed his duvet and dragged it over, draping it over Liam’s body softly.

“He refused to leave,” Maura said from the doorway and Niall looked over to her before looking back at Liam with a smile

‘He means a lot more to me than I expected,’ he signed and Maura laughed softly.

“I think you mean a lot more to him than you think,” she said, nodding softly and giving her son a knowing smile before leaving.

 

***

‘Why did you stay?’ Niall signed as soon as Liam woke up, eyes wide as the normally were around Liam: wide and curious. Liam groaned softly, rubbing his eyes.

“Just woke up, gimme a minute to understand signing again,” he requested gently, chuckling a little and Niall’s breath caught in his throat. Liam’s voice was deeper than normal, raspy and husky and wow. Okay. “Alright, go ahead.”

‘Why did you stay? I was a mess, why didn’t you leave?’ Niall signed again and it was Liam’s turn to stare at him in confusion. 

“Niall, I wasn’t about to just leave you. I was worried sick! Next time you’re having a bad day, text me and I’ll be there for you after class or text me when you’re scared or something, please,” he said like that was the most obvious thing to do in the world. 

‘Why though?’ Niall insisted. Liam sighed a little in return.

“You’re my best friend, you mean a lot to me,” he said quietly. Niall’s breathing hitched again and a smile spread. Before he could even think about what he was doing, Niall surged forward and hugged Liam tightly. They had never really touched before, not like that. Niall would cling to Liam’s arm in the hall sometimes, but it had never gotten to be like this before. Warm arms wrapped around Niall as well, holding him tightly. 

Niall didn’t know how long they stayed like that, but it wasn’t long enough.

***

Things changed then. Niall no longer tried to push Liam away, they were closer than ever. Niall was open around Liam all the time now, brightening whenever he saw him even. They would spend after school together, studying and just working on homework. Niall would help Liam with anything he just didn’t quite understand and Liam would just be there. One weekends, they’d go to the park or just stay at Niall’s house with movies and sweets. Niall loved to cuddle against Liam, who was warm and soft and willing.

It was scary really, to think about how much Niall was beginning to depend on Liam. Niall had nightmares about Liam getting tired of Niall one day and just leaving him. Liam would always reassure Niall with a smile and a kiss on the forehead though and that was that. 

***

“I want you to meet my other friends,” Liam said one day and Niall shook his head with a laugh.

‘No.’

“What?! Why not?! They’re nice people, a bit overwhelming maybe-”

‘That’s why.’

“I’ll introduce you to them separately then. I’ll start with Zayn and then Harry and then Louis, Louis’ the worst honestly.”

‘No.’

“Niall. Come on.”

‘You’re willing to share me Liam? I’m so offended, so scandalized! I thought I was something special to you!’

“You are Niall, more than I think you realize. Which is why I want you to meet them, you’ll get along.” That had pale cheeks turning a rather bright pink and the blonde looked away. That had meant to be taken as a joke… But…

‘… Fine.’

***

“So, you want us to meet your boyfriend?” Louis asked all smirking and sneery. Harry punched his arm softly and shook his head.

“Liam’s already told us, Niall isn’t his boyfriend,” Harry said while Louis stuck his tongue out.

“Not yet anyway,” Zayn said with a snicker and Liam sighed.

“I’m regretting this already.”

***

Meeting the friends hadn’t exactly gone smoothly… Zayn had been rather impatient and he didn’t know sign language, which had Niall feeling frustrated and rather scared. It was nice being around Liam, it was almost like Niall could actually talk to him, but around Zayn, it was just a reminder that he couldn’t talk.

It started out rather horribly as well, Niall wouldn’t look up and he felt like he might actually puke. He was terrified! These were Liam’s friends, Liam’s! Liam was one of the most important people to Niall now, he would break down if they didn’t talk for a whole day. He was so attached… What if he left just because Niall couldn’t get along?

Harry was better, a little. He understood some sign language from what Liam had taught him and tried to make Niall feel comfortable. It didn’t really work since Harry only knew how to do that by cuddling and touching and that wasn’t okay with Niall. Not yet. Only Liam could do that.

This whole thing was making Niall antsy, two out of three hadn’t really worked out and even Liam was rather reluctant to let Louis meet Niall. To add on to that, Niall’s heart was pounding everytime he saw Liam now. His heart would speed and his stomach would fill with butterflies and the world would seem brighter. When Niall asked his mum about it, she just smiled at him and gave him a hug as he cried. He was falling in love with Liam and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

***

“So, you can’t talk.” Niall didn’t like Louis. 

‘Not orally,’ he signed, though the blonde doubted Louis actually understood sign language.

‘Well then, maybe I shouldn’t either.’ Niall was rather stunned at that. Louis understood just as well as Liam did. ‘My sarcasm’s a lot funnier aloud though.’

“He doesn’t like it when you use sign language with him,” Liam told his smaller friend as Niall signed, ‘I already can’t talk, there’s no need to make me feel like I can’t hear.’ Louis laughed lightly at the two, shaking his head softly.

“Zayn and Harry feel really bad about not being able to get along with you,” he said afterwards, shrugging a little. “Guess I’m just pretty enough for you to actually look at.” Niall snorted at that while Liam looked like he might actually strangle Louis. Nobody had teased Niall right off the bat like that, not while keeping everything light hearted.

‘I didn’t look up for the first fifteen minutes,’ Niall pointed out.

“Then I made a rude comment and I owned your attention, I told Liam to do that when he was pining after your friendship. It worked much quicker than taking the long way,” Louis shrugged, sighing as he spoke. Liam blanched, cheeks turning bright red. Niall didn’t really know if he liked Louis and he sure was a lot to handle, but he treated Niall like he was a normal guy. That was enough to make him smile.

***

‘How do you know what you love someone?’ Liam choked on his tea, sputtering as he stared at the nervous looking Niall.

“U-um, well… You want to be around them all the time and you try your hardest to do so,” Liam stammered out, watching as Niall nodded along, pulling legs up to tuck them beneath him. “They’re always on your mind, even if it’s just stupid stuff. Wondering how they are, if they’re hungry, what their favourite dog is, stuff that you really don’t care about usually. Whenever you touch them, it’s like eating the sweetest dessert and you feel so entirely happy that being sad isn’t even a thing really, not anymore.” Liam knew he sounded dreamy now and there was a little smile stretching his flushed cheeks, eyes bright as he looked down. Niall just stared, nodding still, deeper in thought. That’s how he felt after all, all of that… 

‘Are you in love with someone?’ he signed and Liam smiled wider now.

“Definitely.” And Niall felt like he had been stabbed.

***

After that, Niall avoided Liam as best he could. He would leave class quickly, not giving Liam anytime to get there to walk with him. That sucked and Niall ended up crying in the bathroom more than ever before, but just seeing Liam hurt. He would sit somewhere else at lunch, anywhere but with Liam. His mind was constantly clouded with thoughts of Liam still, but now they were directed to wondering just who Liam had fallen for.

Niall even began to avoid Louis after awhile. He wasn’t as persistent as Liam though. Liam would run up to Niall in the hallways, reaching for his arm. Niall would just flinch away and keep his head down, chewing on his lip. Liam kept asking what he had done wrong and he kept apologizing and goddammit, Niall just wanted to be left alone.

“Niall, please just tell me what I did,” Liam begged one day at lunch and Niall just shook his head. “Niall…”

‘Just leave me the fuck alone Liam.’ Niall didn’t look up, he didn’t dare to. He heard Liam’s breath hitch though before leaving his lungs shakily, the way it only did when he was about to start crying. He didn’t say goodbye, he didn’t say anything, there were sniffles that faded off as he left. Niall left early after that, went home and cried. He knew this was for the best, but it sure didn’t fucking feel like it.

***

“Why did you break his heart?” Niall looked up from what he was eating to find Louis standing above him, glaring down.

‘What?’

“Why did you break his fucking heart?!” Louis demanded once more, nearly shaking with anger. “Why did you stop talking to him?! Why did you just drop him?! He cares about you so fucking much and you just threw him away like it was nothing!” Niall was cowering away from Louis’ obvious anger, but that didn’t stop him from glaring.

‘None of your damn business,’ he signed, trying to make it look as angry as possible. ‘And I didn’t break his heart, he broke mine!’ Louis stared, blinking slowly before sighing and running a hand through his hair. Niall’s entire defensive demeanor sagged when Louis started laughing.

“You two are so fucking dumb!” he laughed, clutching his stomach. Niall was so confused, why was Louis suddenly laughing?! “I’ll fix this, don’t you worry, I’ll fix this!” he exclaimed then before turning and running off.

***

Niall was doing his homework in the kitchen after school that day, nibbling on some snack as he worked, when there was a knock on the door. Maura was up in a second, walking away from dinner to answer it. Niall didn’t even lose focus, just kept working on his maths. That is, until he heard who it was.

“I don’t think you should be here,” Maura whispered and Niall rolled his eyes, she had to know he could hear her after all.

“I have to talk to Niall, please.” That voice. No no. Nope, this wasn’t happening. Niall refused to believe it. Niall looked over to the door and felt everything ache. Liam stood there, looking so lovely. The shirt he was wearing was one of Niall’s favourites since it stretched over his shoulders so nicely and Liam’s hair was styled up and Niall hadn’t really allowed himself to look at Liam because of this. “Please.”

Maura bit her lip, looking over at Niall. He quickly shook his head, shrinking in his seat rather sadly. She nodded softly before opening the door back up. “Just leave Liam, please,” she requested and Liam sighed, shoulders sagging. 

“Alright… Just, Niall, please read this,” Liam said, looking over to the blonde as he set a small letter onto the nearby key table. Niall rolled his eyes, having no intention of actually reading it… Curiosity got the better of him in the end though.

***

Niall sat on his bed, letter in his hands and hands in his lap. He didn’t know if he could do this, if he could handle being let down easily. He didn’t know if he’d be able to survive going to the same school as Liam after that. He couldn’t just go through life without knowing what it said, he just couldn’t. Taking a deep breath, Niall opened the letter then, slowly.

_Dear Niall,_

_I guess this means I got kicked out, huh? Well, you know me, I’m not very good at putting my thoughts into words. I’ll try my hardest for you though. ___

_I don’t know what happened, what I said, to make you avoid me, but Louis has this twisted idea that we’re both hopelessly in love with eachother. That couldn’t be right though, you don’t love me like that._

_The other day, when you asked me what love felt like, I only knew that because of you. I only knew that because you were all I could think about, you were the only person I ever wanted to spend time with, you were my everything. You still are, but well, we don’t really talk anymore. I’ve tried moving on, but you’re kind of perfect, Ni. And don’t start shaking your head just because you don’t think so because of this or that. You’re not perfect, but you’re perfect for me._

_Everytime I’m around you, I feel like I’m living a dream. You can’t be real, you just can’t be. You must be an angel or something, people like you just don’t exist. Not as a human being. You’ve got these eyes that were so guarded and hard at first, but now I just want to look at them all day, drown in all the emotions you show through your eyes. That sounds so cliche, but I happen to know that you rather love cliches, be it romantic or horror or otherwise. You’re so beautiful Niall, it makes it hard to breath just thinking about you! It’s pretty hard to breath without you though. Being away from you feels like I’m trying to breath through a wet washcloth but as soon as you’re around, I take this huge breath of fresh air. I’m suffocating without you. ___

_This probably doesn’t really mean anything to you, just a confession from someone who did something to make you hate them. I can sleep better now though, knowing you know the truth. I just hope we’ll start talking again, even if it’s just as friends. Just being your friend would be enough for me. ___

_Love, _  
 _Liam_ __

***

Niall couldn’t find Liam’s table fast enough. He had overslept that morning after getting almost no sleep and skipping the first half of the day. It wasn’t from nightmares though, it was from dreaming about what this very moment would feel like. He hadn’t really expected to be rushing around the cafeteria, desperately trying to find Liam. He had actually pictured this happening on a beach, but school would have to do.

“Oh, look it’s Niall!” Louis’ voice suddenly rang over the rest of the noisy cafeteria’s and Niall whipped around, smiling. Liam’s eyes were wide as he walked over, staring at Niall in disbelief.

‘Come with me,’ Niall requested quickly and Liam gulped, nodding. He got a bright smile in return and then he was being pulled out into the hallway. It was empty, thankfully and oh god, Niall couldn’t do it. His cheeks were bright red when he turned back around to face Liam and he gulped. His hands were shaking as he tried to remember how to sign just what he wanted to say. He was suddenly so nervous though and his breathing was speeding up and-

“Ni, calm down, okay? Everything’s okay, you’re safe,” Liam said softly, putting his hands on Niall’s arms and immediately the blonde felt calm spread throughout him. 

‘I love you too,’ he finally signed and Liam’s eyes went wide. He was the one who looked like he might faint then and Niall chuckled, quickly wrapping Liam into a tight hug.

“Really?” he whispered and Niall nodded in return, smiling against the crook of Liam’s neck. Liam laughed rather breathlessly, tightening his grip on Niall’s waist and actually picking him up to spin him around. “Oh thank god,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to Niall’s forehead.

This was all new to Niall. He had never kissed someone, barely talked to people, barely even looked at people! He didn’t know how he was going to deal with this, how was he meant to handle all of this?! Niall took a shaky breath, holding onto Liam for dear life.

“Niall, does this mean you’ll be my boyfriend?” Liam whispered after a moment and Niall knew then, he knew that this would only be possible with Liam. Liam understood, he just got it and he got Niall and this would work.

With an enthusiastic nod, Liam spun the blonde around again. That was the start of the greatest adventure of Niall’s life.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed reading this! I tried to make it as different as I could from Mute by troubledpro since she's like the queen of mute fics and yeah.


End file.
